A Butterfly Flaps Its Wings

Chapter 2

by Sailor Lum

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Characters/Pairing: Severus/Lily

Rated: R

Overall Summary: Severus Snape arrives a moment later to the scene of what could become his worst memory and makes some better choices. The result is that the entire course of his life is changed. (Fic Series Masterlist)

Chapter Summary: Severus and Lily face their boggarts at the DADA practical; James hopes to show Lily that Severus is not to be trusted; Lily and Severus have another heart to heart

Content, Warnings: sexuality (involving sixteen year olds, with regards to each other/themselves); language; disturbing imagery

Word Count: 10,796

General Warnings: Book purists beware – Hogwarts uniforms follow the movies and only pre-Pottermore canon is counted as canon for this fic, as this fic was planned and plotted before Pottermore came about (although I'll use stuff from Pottermore that I like and that works). Individual parts in this series may be rated as high as NC-17.

Notes: Severus’s characterization is primarily based off of teen Snape (as opposed to Professor Snape). And, I’m using British vocab for many things (or trying to). For instance, pants = underwear; left school = graduated. Also, this fic supposes that Lily’s Patronus became a doe in canon to match James’s stag, so her original one is different.

Disclaimer: The characters from Harry Potter belong to JK Rowling. Also, any characters depicted in explicit sexual situations are at the age of consent or older.

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1

The Marauders and Mulciber’s gang of Slytherins thundered through the Forbidden Forest, throwing hexes, curses and vulgarities at each other as they dodged and ran. They’d completely lost Severus and Lily, and chased after each other till they wound up outside of the Forest and near Hagrid’s hut.

Hearing a commotion outside, Hagrid set down his tea and opened his door. “What’s all this ruckus abou’?!” he bellowed. The group of warring students froze, and then the Slytherin faction broke off in a mad dash towards the castle. Hagrid clucked his tongue and ambled towards the Marauders. “Them Slytherins been givin’ yeh trouble, or is it the other way aroun’?”

“Both I think,” said Remus, panting. He looked pale and about ready to collapse. Peter looked a might winded, as well.

“All right, mates?” asked Sirius, wiping his brow with his sleeve.

James scratched the back of his head. “They started it, Hagrid. They called Lily Evans a- a you-know-what!”

“A you-know-what?” asked Hagrid, scratching his great bushy beard.

“A Mudblood,” Peter replied, in a hushed voice.

“Oh! Oh, that you-know-what!” Hagrid exclaimed, then clucked his tongue again and shook his head. “An’ Miss Evans? She very upset, then? I mean, who wouldn’ be, bein’ called somethin’ like that?”

“Yeah, of course she was upset,” James replied. “She ran off with Snape and we haven’t seen her since.”

“I’m sure she’s fine,” Remus said, gently.

“Maybe we should go search for her,” suggested James.

Remus wobbled and Hagrid reached out to steady him. “Why don’t yeh all come in and sit down wi’ me a while. Remus here looks like he could use a rest an’ I made more lunch than I really have need fer. And James looks like ‘e could use some dittany.” Hagrid pointed towards the gash on James’s cheek. Then he walked Remus to the door and coaxed the others in.

James sighed as he walked through the door. He couldn’t stop thinking about Lily and worrying. Is she crying? Is Snape making it worse? What line of bollocks is Snivellus feeding her now? Why is she even friends with that greasy git?! And then, at the back of his mind, James felt a familiar worry claw at his thoughts. What if he’s trying to put the moves on her, or something?

“Here’s a seat fer yeh, James,” Hagrid said, breaking James out of his reverie. Hagrid had pulled some extra chairs out from the corner of the room for the boys to sit in. While James took his seat with the others, Hagrid lumbered over to another corner of the room, opened a wooden chest, and rooted around. “Ah, ha! ‘Ere it is!” Hagrid exclaimed, pulling out a small bottle of dittany. Then he unscrewed the cap, sucked some dittany up with the dropper attached to it, and placed a few drops on James’s cheek. The wound healed some but not all the way, leaving an angry red mark on James’s cheek. “Huh, that’s strange,” Hagrid mumbled. “Did one o’ them Slytherins hit yeh with a Dark spell, er somethin’?”

“It was Snape,” Sirius replied. “That spell he cast on you must have been Dark, James.”

“That bastard,” James said, rubbing his cheek. “We’ll get him back.”

“Evans is mad to be friends with a bloke like that!” Peter exclaimed, earning nods of agreement from James and Sirius.

Remus looked worried but said nothing. A part of him wanted to say that maybe if Snape was so dangerous, they should leave him alone…but James and Sirius were not cowards and couldn’t be expected to let Snape get away with what he’d done to James. Another part of Remus wanted to say that they should leave Snape alone, anyway, since James and Sirius had attacked Snape first and Snape couldn’t be expected to take that lying down. Although, he didn’t have to use Dark Magic, and really shouldn’t have, Remus thought. And while Remus didn’t exactly know why Lily was friends with Snape, he was confident she had her reasons, although he did think that she was probably being too trusting. Remus sighed and resigned to keep quiet, since he wasn’t even sure what point he should be making.

“We’ll get him back,” James repeated. “Tomorrow, we’ll get him back.”

“Why not tonight?” suggested Sirius.

“We’ll let him think we’re going to let it slide…” James began.

“…And then tomorrow we’ll catch him off guard!” Sirius finished.

“Yeah!” Peter said, clapping his hands. James and Sirius chuckled and clapped him on the back.

Remus groaned, softly, not looking forward to what was surely going to be an ugly scene the next day.

Hagrid said nothing but looked worried, and handed each boy a bowl and spoon and then served up some of the ham and split pea soup he had been simmering. “Tuck in!” he exclaimed, sitting down. The boys smiled at him and began eating. They figured they would probably have gotten a better lunch inside the castle, but it was hard to say ‘no’ to the kind-hearted Hagrid.

After the group was done eating, James fidgeted in his seat a bit. They were all happily chatting away with Hagrid, but James wanted to get back into the castle, and see if Lily was there having lunch at the Gryffindor table, or if any of her girlfriends had heard from her since the scene at the lake. Finally, after what seemed like forever, Hagrid gasped and said “Merlin’s beard! Look a’ the time! Yeh better get on to the Great Hall fer yer DADA OWL practical!” James suppressed an exasperated huff as he and the other boys thanked Hagrid for his hospitality and then left for the castle.

As the Marauders trotted up to the castle, Sirius exclaimed, “I think ol’ Hagrid must be lonely. He talked our bloody ears off!”

James laughed. It was just what he had been thinking.

“Everyone’s been revising hard for their exams, so I don’t think people have been stopping by to chat with him much,” said Remus.

“Poor fellow,” added Peter.

The Marauders continued to make their way into the castle, and by the time they got to the Great Hall, the tables had already been taken away and replaced with four exam areas. “Hurry, hurry!” squeaked Professor Flitwick, as he waved them over to the small chamber beside the Great Hall, where they were to wait until called for their practical examination. Normally, the DADA professor would be present but he had fallen ill, recently, with a terrible bout of Scrofungulus, and would not be returning to Hogwarts any time soon. So, Professor Flitwick had taken his place.

The Marauders hurried inside the chamber and stood around looking for seats. It was then that James saw Lily, sitting with Severus, in one corner of the room. James walked over to them, with the other Marauders trailing along. As he got closer, James noticed that both Lily and Severus had slightly red eyes and puffy faces. It looked to him like they’d both been crying. “All right, Evans?” James asked as he approached. He hoped that she’d notice the cut on his cheek was only partially healed, and say something.

Lily threw James a look of deep dislike. “Please go away. We’re trying to revise a little more for the practical and we don’t need more drama, thank you.” She sounded cold. James scowled.

“Brrrrr!” exclaimed Sirius.

Severus narrowed his eyes. “Fuck off!”

Sirius was about ready to retort, when James cut across him. “Just want to see if you’re all right, Evans. You and Snivellus look like you’ve been crying.” Severus made a move as if to get up, and Lily tugged him back down by his robe sleeve.

“Just leave us alone!” Lily shouted.

At that moment, Flitwick opened the door and called the first group of four out to take the practical. “Abbott, Steven – Avery, Bernard – Black, Sirius – Boggs, Kevin”

“Well, I’m off,” Sirius said, as he turned to go. The other Marauders wished him good luck, and when they turned around, Lily and Severus were gone. James scanned the room and saw they had moved to another corner.

“Let’s just revise,” suggested Remus.

James heaved a sigh. “Sure. If she doesn’t want to talk to me, then fine. Don’t know what her problem is…” James said and sat down with Remus and Peter to revise incantations and wand movements.

2

“Fucking Potter,” Severus mumbled, throwing James a last look as he and Lily sat down in another corner of the chamber.

“Never mind him,” Lily said. “What else do you think will be on the practical, besides boggarts?”

“Oh, bugger me! A boggart!” Severus exclaimed in a low voice. He turned pale and beads of sweat broke out on his forehead. “It could have changed. I think it could have changed. Fuck, I’m not prepared for a new bloody boggart.”

“You think it’s changed?”

“I’m pretty sure,” Severus said, wishing the boggart would take any form but the form he was thinking of, which was a sure sign that that was the form it would take.

Lily gave him a sympathetic look. “If you can figure out what it might be, you can come up with a new plan to tackle it. What do you think it might be, now?”

Severus thought it was dumb and worried that Lily might laugh, but his mind was racing for a solution and coming up with nothing, so he confessed. “I…I’m scared of myself…as a Death Eater,” Severus replied in a hushed voice.

“Oh!” Lily hadn’t expected that, but as it sunk in she began to smile. “That seems like a very reasonable fear to me.”

“Don’t laugh at me!” Severus hissed, becoming highly colored.

“I’m not, Sev!” Lily whispered. “I’m just glad that…that you feel that way. That you get how bad that would have been, you know?”

“I’m sure I’ll take comfort in that after I fail the practical,” Severus replied, his words dripping with sarcasm.

“Oh, Sev, don’t be that way. We’ll think of something.” Lily thought a moment, and then inspiration struck. “Oh, I know! You can put yourself in bunny ears! Wouldn’t that be funny?” She giggled. “And cute?”

Severus let out a snort and gave her an incredulous look.

“See, it’s funny. You almost laughed. Don’t try to deny it.” Lily’s eyes, though still red, gleamed with amusement.

“Bunny ears – that’s ridiculous,” Severus complained.

“No – It’s Riddikulus!” Lily exclaimed with delight, waving her wand in the proper motion.

Severus snorted again. “Ha ha,” he said dryly. He supposed if he didn’t come up with anything better, he could use Lily’s idea in a pinch.

Lily glanced over at a little round wall clock and started tapping one foot nervously. “Hey, Sev…Quiz me on what else you think will be on the practical.”

Severus gave her a small smile and said, “All right.” He started rattling off spells for her to name the counter-spell to. As Lily got more and more counter-spells right, her foot stopped tapping and she began to relax again.

Finally, Flitwick opened the door and called the next group of four out to take the practical. “Bones, Cornelius – Cooper, Jane – Davies, Ariel – Evans, Lily.”

Lily got up nervously. “Here I go…Wish me luck!”

“You won’t need it. You’re ready,” Severus replied.

“Thanks, Sev.” Lily bent down and kissed his cheek. As she did, she heard someone in another corner of the room cry out in pain and complain of being poked in the eye. “Let’s meet in the library, after, all right?”

Severus touched his cheek absentmindedly and nodded his head. He watched her go, and then got out his wand to practice wand movements.

3

“Professor Tofty is free, Miss Evans,” squeaked Professor Flitwick, as he motioned her over to a very old and very bald professor with pince-nez glasses. Lily nodded and walked nervously over to Professor Tofty, whom she hadn’t yet had as her examiner. So far she’d had Professor Griselda Marchbanks (the ancient Governor of theWizarding Examinations Authority) for her Charms and her Herbology practicals, and she’d had Professor Marcus Trollope (a comparatively younger old wizard with a steely gray beard) for her Care of Magical Creatures practical.

“No need to be nervous, my dear,” Professor Tofty said. “Let’s start with some counter-jinxes and defensive spells, shall we?” Professor Tofty raised his wand and began casting spells for Lily to counter or deflect. Lily let her training take over and countered instinctively, feeling more and more exhilarated as she went on, until finally it was time for the boggart.

Lily’s knees shook a little bit as Professor Tofty flicked his wand at a nearby wardrobe, causing the knob to turn. A chill ran up Lily’s spine as boney gray fingers grasped the door and threw it open. Lily gasped and shouted “Riddikulus!” Suddenly, the boggart Dementor sprouted bony legs and started swing dancing, periodically swinging one of its lower legs around in a circle at the kneecap. Lily and Professor Tofty laughed at it a bit before Tofty blasted it back into the wardrobe.

“Well done, well done!” Professor Tofty exclaimed. “That’s a rather challenging one, too!”

“Th-thank you,” Lily replied, her chest rising and falling rapidly with her heartbeat. I’m glad that’s over! she thought.

“That reminds me…One more thing, before you go…” Professor Tofty began. “I heard from Professor Flitwick that you can produce a Patronus? For a bonus point…”

“Oh, yes,” Lily said, blushing slightly. She had read about the Patronus Charm earlier in the year, and after learning that it repelled Dementors, she felt determined to learn it. Most of her friends had scoffed and various professors had cautioned her not to get her hopes up, saying that it was too far beyond OWL level, but Severus had quickly agreed to try and learn it with her. They worked on it, off and on, all year, until finally last month they’d each managed a corporal Patronus…

4

May, 1976

“I feel like today’s the day!” Lily exclaimed, as she and Severus made their way to an unused classroom in a musty wing of the castle. “I’ve been practicing on my own, since we haven’t been able to get together so much lately, and I’ve been regularly getting something animal shaped. Something four legged. Have you been able to get anything animal shaped yet, Sev?”

“Maybe,” Severus replied, sounding sullen. “Why haven’t we been able to get together so much lately, anyway?”

Lily sighed. She did not want to get into an argument today. “I don’t know. Sometimes when you’re free, I’m not.”

“I’m always free for you,” Severus replied, “Unless I’ve got Quidditch practice. Of course, that’s over for the year… Fucking Gryffindor!” Severus spat. The scores had been close, but Gryffindor had beaten out Slytherin for the Quidditch Cup, and Severus was bitter. It would have been the first year Slytherin had won the Cup while Severus was on the team, if Gryffindor hadn’t pulled ahead.

“Well, I suppose you could be happy that your best friend’s team won, as a consolation,” Lily replied, sounding somewhat aggravated. “And you know I hate to interrupt you when you’re with certain people, whom I don’t even feel comfortable coming close to.”

“No one from Mulciber’s gang would hurt you,” replied Severus. “You’re my friend. They know that.”

“Well, I don’t trust them. And I detest them. You know how I feel about them,” Lily said, her jaw clinching.

Severus opened his mouth to argue and then closed it again. They’d arrived at one of the unused classrooms and Lily had stopped and turned to him with piercing look. “Let’s not talk about them, then,” Severus said, as he opened the door. “Happy thoughts are needed to produce a Patronus.”

Lily let out an exasperated sigh. “Yes, let’s forget all about them, for the moment,” Lily said going in. I wish you’d forget about them forever, Sev! Can’t you see they’re bad news?! Lily thought.

Severus let out a sigh of relief and followed. He wished Lily wouldn’t worry. She just doesn’t understand, Severus thought. She’ll see, someday, that I was smart to get in good with them. When I’m a great wizard with lots of connections, she’ll be glad.

“All right, we need happy thoughts!” Lily said, half sitting on an empty desk. Severus stood at a nearby desk, watching her. “Hmmm, let’s see…” Lily closed her eyes, and after a bit, smiled. “I’m thinking of…that time I showed you how to fly off the swings. You remember, Sev?”

“Yeah,” Severus replied, with an unseen smile.

“I’m thinking of that great feeling…of flying high and floating down…” Lily said, dreamily.

“Yeah…” Severus said, softly, imaging it with her.

Lily raised her wand. “Expecto Patronum!” A brilliant strand of silver light shot out of Lily’s wand and began to form something huge and furry that ran on four legs. A huge grin appeared on Lily’s face, as the sliver animal firmed up and became a great sliver bear.

“Bloody hell!” Severus exclaimed. “It’s a bear! A bloody bear!”

“I did it! I did it!” Lily squealed, jumping up and down as the silver bear continued to run around the room.

After the bear vanished, Lily rushed over to Severus and captured him a big hug. His heart skipped a beat as he felt her squeeze him tight, and Severus felt himself blushing and smiling in spite of himself. Lily released him and stepped back, a rosy blush coming to her own cheeks.

“Now you try, Sev,” Lily said, breathlessly.

Severus raised his wand, and a sudden vision appeared to him. He imagined he and Lily were standing at an alter and getting married. “Expecto Patronum!” Severus cried, producing a brilliant, silver light that formed into a great silver bear, just like Lily’s.

“Merlin’s beard, they’re the same!” Lily exclaimed, blushing furiously.

Severus put a hand to his mouth and his face went beet red. The bear swiftly dissipated. “I- I-” Severus started to stammer. His mind raced. She’s going to figure out what this means, she’s not going to feel the same way, and she’s going to think it’s creepy and won’t want to speak to me again!

Lily looked at the space where the bear had been, not yet daring to look at Severus. Sev’s in love with me! It’s not just hormones! Why hasn’t he said anything?! Lily turned to look at Severus and her face fell. He looked more than embarrassed, he looked horrified.

Severus looked at Lily and saw her disappointment. Say something! Some kind of excuse! His mind reeled. “We must be very alike!” he blurted. “Or it’s because we’re best friends! We’re so close!”

“R- Really? You think so?” Lily said, looking unsure.

“I’m sure of it!” Severus exclaimed, his voice getting high pitched and weird.

Lily opened her mouth to speak but Severus cut across her before she could make a sound.

“We did it, right? Bloody amazing! No one else in our Year can produce a corporal Patronus! Or any Patronus at all! I have to tell my Head of House! You should tell your Head of House! And show Professor Flitwick! He fucking loves Charms!”

“Uh,” Lily uttered, stunned by the stream of blather that was coming out of Severus’s mouth.

“I- I have to go now! I’ll see you later!” Severus said, and with that he turned and left the room so swiftly that Lily didn’t get another word in edgewise.

Lily stared at the now open door with a sour and confused expression. “What the hell, Sev?” she muttered. Now I don’t know what to think, again. I just can’t figure him out…

5

…Lily closed her eyes and smiled, remembering how Severus’s Patronus had matched hers. Well, now I know what it means, for sure. Lily opened her eyes, raised her wand, and exclaimed “Expecto Patronum!” The silver bear burst out from the tip of her wand immediately, bounding about the room before vanishing.

“Bravo! Bravo!” exclaimed Professor Tofty, clapping his hands. “Very well, Miss Evans, you may go!”

Lily put her wand away and turned to leave, but then she stopped suddenly, and turned around. “Professor Tofty?”

“Yes, my dear?”

“If- if you get my best friend- er, boyfriend- uh, well,…anyway, he can produce a Patronus, too! His name is Severus Snape,” Lily stammered.

“Oh, yes! Professor Flitwick mentioned him, also,” Professor Tofty replied, with a chuckle. “I rather hope I have the pleasure of testing him, as well,” he added, with a wink. “Run along now!”

Lily smiled, waved goodbye, and then made her way out of the Great Hall. She was feeling pretty good, on a kind of high from an exam well taken, until she ran across Avery out in the hall. He gave her a look one might give a particularly nasty bug and it gave Lily a creepy feeling. Avery was standing alone with his arms folded, and he didn’t look inclined to make a move, but Lily wasn’t taking any chances and hurried around a corner. I’m so glad Sev isn’t going to be hanging round him, or any of Mulciber’s gang, anymore! she thought. I bet they’re all aiming to be Death Eaters. They probably gave Sev the idea. I’m sure they did!

When Lily finally reached the library, she realized she felt a little winded. She’d moved at a brisk pace, all the way up. She felt a little frustrated that she let Avery get to her like that. She took a breath, smoothed her hair and robes and then made her way around the library, looking for an interesting book to read while she waited on Severus. When she reached the Potions section, she got an idea. I should look up The Potion, while I’m here, she thought.

“The Potion” was a Birth Control Potion for witches that Lily had heard about from some of her dorm mates. Betty Robins, who had a steady boyfriend and was planning on “going all the way” with him this summer, had already started taking The Potion and showed Lily and the other girls the bottle of it she had bought at Alessandro’s Apothecary in Hogsmead. Lily wanted to read up on The Potion out of curiosity, anyway, but now that she thought she might want some birth control for herself in the near future, she was even more interested.

Lily began looking through the contents of various Potions books, eventually finding the Birth Control Potion listed in a book called “Preventative Potions for Every Need.” Lily took it to a study desk and flipped to the page The Potion was on. Just as it had said on the bottle of Potion that Betty had bought, the book said that it took a week to start taking full guaranteed effect, and had to be taken daily (half a ml by pipette). A recipe was listed, but it took two weeks to brew and was a bit tricky. I guess if I want some, I’ll just buy some from Alessondro’s, for now, Lily thought. Then she got out a leather-bound journal from her bag, and wrote down the recipe and information, for future reference.

Suddenly, Lily heard someone sit down with a thump in the seat beside her at the desk. “Well, well, what have we here, Evans?” asked Sirius, looking at what Lily had written in her journal.

Lily scooted her journal away. “None of your business, Black!” she whispered.

“Planning on having it off with someone?” Sirius asked, grinning mischievously. “Or has someone asked you to try and make The Potion for them?”

“None of your business, either way,” Lily said, getting up. She cast a Drying Charm on her freshly written journal entry, and then stuffed the journal back in her bag and moved to leave for another desk. Sirius stuck an arm out, and blocked her.

“Not thinking of throwing old Snivelly a pity fuck, are you?” Sirius said with a chuckle.

Lily turned red and slapped Sirius’s arm out of the way. “If I have sex with Severus, it won’t be out of pity! I wouldn’t have sex with anyone out of pity, and I certainly don’t pity Severus!” Lily whispered. “And it’s really none of your business!” she added, as she walked away, letting her bag hit Sirius on the side of the head as she passed.

“Ow!” Sirius cried out, earning a loud “shush” from Madam Pince. Sirius harrumphed, got up and went back to pacing the library while he waited for the other Marauders to arrive. After a while longer, a few other students entered the library, Remus among them. Sirius claimed a table and waved Remus over.

“Moony, how’d it go?” Sirius asked, pulling out a chair.

“Pretty well, I think,” Remus replied. “I got Professor Marchbanks. She said that my boggart was quite odd…That makes me worry a little.”

“I don’t think they care how odd your boggart is, Moony, as long as you defeat it,” Sirius replied.

“That’s not what I’m worried about,” Remus said, a crease forming between his eyebrows.

“Oh, I wouldn’t worry,” said Sirius, patting Remus on the back. “Professor Marchbanks is an old friend of Professor Dumbledore’s. I bet if she’s concerned, she speaks with him first, and you know Professor Dumbledore won’t let anything bad happen.”

“You’re probably right,” Remus said, attempting a faint smile.

Sirius rested his chin on his fist. “Hmm, how about some interesting gossip to take your mind off your worries?” Sirius suggested.

One side of Remus’s mouth tugged up in a smile. “Gossip, huh?”

Sirius nodded and told Remus about his recent exchange with Lily. “So, who do you think might be planning a shag?” Sirius asked, at the end of his tale.

Remus chuckled. “Oh, I don’t know if anyone is,” Remus replied. “Lily is one of the top students in Potions. She might just be studying The Potion for that reason.”

“Naw, she was acting weird about it, I think,” said Sirius. “Probably she’s looking it up for someone.” At that moment, James and Peter walked into the library and Sirius waved them over. “Oi, let’s ask the others.” After James and Peter sat down, Sirius told them what he’d just told Remus.

“You didn’t really ask her that?! About throwing Snivelly a ‘pity fuck’, did you?” James asked, with a sour and somewhat mortified expression.

“Aw, I was just joking, Prongs,” replied Sirius. “I don’t really think she’d have it off with him, for pity’s sake or otherwise.”

“It’s still rather…” James trailed off.

“Inappropriate?” suggested Remus.

“Gross?” guessed Peter.

“Yes,” replied James. “Rather inappropriate and gross.”

“But that’s why it’s funny!” said Sirius, his eyes gleaming. Peter giggled while James and Remus rolled their eyes and smirked.

“Oi, did you tell her what Snivelly did to me was Dark Magic, by any chance?” James said, pointing to his cheek.

“No, I got distracted by the possible sex scandal,” Sirius said, with a grin.

James gave Sirius a look. “Right then,” James said, getting up. He moved around the library, looking for Lily, and found her sitting at a study desk near the door. James smiled. She won’t want to hang round someone who actually does Dark Magic, and I have proof that Snape’s done it, he thought, triumphantly. It was worth getting hit with it, just for that. James strode over to her. “Evans,” he said.

Lily looked up and narrowed her eyes at him. “What do you want?”

“To give you a warning,” James said. Then he bent down and pointed to the red slash mark on his cheek. “Look at this. Snape did this. You saw him do it. Hagrid gave me some dittany for it, but it didn’t heal all the way. That’s Dark Magic, is what it is.”

“I know. He told me,” Lily replied dully, setting down the book she was reading.

James’ eyebrows immediately shot up. “Well?! And you’re still hanging round with him?!” James exclaimed in a lowered voice, gesturing with his hands as he did so.

“He knows it’s wrong. He’s promised not to do it anymore,” Lily said.

“And you believe him?! He’s playing you for a fool!”

“No he’s not!” Lily hissed. “I know him a lot better than you do, James Potter. He promised me and Severus keeps his promises.”

James frowned and his eyes glistened. “What’s he done to you? Given you a love potion, or something?”

Lily let out an exasperated noise. “He’s done no such thing!”

“He could you know. If he’s good at one thing, it’s Potions.”

“Severus would never do that to me!” Lily exclaimed in a hushed voice. “Severus went too far with that Dark spell, I know, but he would never do something like- like drug me with a love potion! And I’m clearly not under the effects of a love potion. People act goofy when they’ve been dosed with one.” Lily huffed, then turned away from James, and opened her book back up.

“I don’t know,” James replied. “You’re acting pretty foolish. And I’m not so sure old Snivelly wouldn’t resort to that to try and get into your knickers…which I hope he hasn’t managed to do already, or something.” James got horrible knots in his stomach at the thought of Snape getting anywhere with Lily, let alone if he got somewhere using a love potion on her.

Lily slammed her book shut, her eyes wide and her face turning scarlet. She stood up and rounded on James. “How dare you!” she hissed, shoving her book back into her bag. “How dare you!” she repeated, hitching her bag onto her shoulder. She couldn’t believe he’d presume to think it was his place to pry into her love life, like that. “You- you just sod off!” she spat at him, and then she headed towards the opposite end of the library. That condescending, arrogant rotting toe-rag! she thought, as she sat down roughly, at a desk next to the Restricted Section.

James watched her go and heaved a sigh. Well, I guess…I guess that means he hasn’t got anywhere with her…hopefully, James thought. He scratched the back of his head and went back to Sirius and the others.

“Well, what happened mate? She looked pretty cross, passing by,” said Sirius.

“She said Snape had already told her about the spell being Dark, and that he promised not to do it anymore,” James replied sullenly. “Do you think she’s under a love potion? When I suggested it, she got really angry.”

“I don’t know what her problem is,” Sirius replied, shrugging.

“I don’t think she’s under a love potion, James,” Remus said, softly. “Why would he need to promise her anything if she was under a love potion or under any kind of spell?”

“Yeah, that’s good point,” Sirius replied. “I think she’s just bonkers. You’re better off without, mate.”

James scowled at Sirius. “She’s-” he began, and then huffed, “Never mind!” James put his chin on one hand and looked away from the group, hating Snape more than he had ever hated Snape before. James took some comfort in what Remus had said, but he still thought Snape was fooling her. That greasy bastard, James thought. He’ll get his. Tomorrow, he’ll get his.

6

Severus continued practicing and revising, until finally his group was called. Professor Flitwick sent him over to Professor Tofty, and as Severus walked out the door and over to the testing station, he continued to dread the boggart, wishing that it could be the one that he had already prepared for, even though it was still his second worst fear. Oh, why can’t it be that stupid werewolf?! Fuck fuck fuckity fuck! Severus thought.

Severus put the boggart out of his mind while he went to countering and defending against Professor Tofty’s spells. Severus countered swiftly and non-verbally, with a cold intensity that was often missing from his dueling with James and Sirius. When that part of the test was over, Professor Tofty exclaimed, “Excellent, most excellent! All non-verbal! I’ll have to award a bonus point, for that.” Tofty winked.

Severus grinned proudly. “Thank you,” he replied.

“Now, on to the boggart,” Tofty said, turning towards the wardrobe and flicking his wand at it.

Severus could feel his face twisting into a sour expression and his body shuddering, in spite of himself. As the knob turned and the door creaked on the wardrobe, Severus raised his wand, shakily. All at once, a small group of bloody corpses fell out of the wardrobe with a sick thud, and a thin figure, with shoulder-length greasy black hair, stepped out wearing a Death Eater mask and walked over them. Among the bodies were Lily, her parents, Severus’s parents, and Professors Slughorn, McGonagall and Dumbledore. Both Severus and Tofty went white and their mouths dropped open.

Professor Tofty had never seen such a thing from a student, or from anyone at all, really. Fear of loved ones dying wasn’t so uncommon, especially with a war going on, and fear of Death Eaters was also not uncommon. But this particular Death Eater looked suspiciously like the student standing the test. The Death Eater boggart raised its wand at Severus, and Tofty made ready to dash in front of it, should Severus fail to perform the required charm.

Severus hadn’t quite expected it to be as bad as it was and his mind raced as he looked from the slashed corpses of Lily and the others to the cold dark eyes of his Death Eater self. As the boggart raised its wand, Severus knew he had to do something, and his mind screamed at him to cast the charm. Severus quickly remembered Lily’s bunny ears suggestion and shouted, “Riddikulus!” Fluffy, bouncy, white bunny ears sprouted on top of the Death Eater’s head and it looked around comically…but the corpses were still there, killing the laughter. The Death Eater boggart raised its wand again.

The bodies! The bodies! How the fuck can I make those funny?! Severus wondered, feeling panic grip him once more. Suddenly, the thought of department store mannequins, lying in a heap, popped into his brain and Severus seized upon the idea and cast the Boggart-banishing Charm, once more. The corpses became mannequins and fell apart, causing the Death Eater to slip and fall backwards. Severus and Tofty both let out nervous barking laughs, and then Tofty flicked his wand and sent the boggart and all its pieces flying back into the wardrobe.

Tofty got out a handkerchief and said, “My goodness! My goodness! Merlin’s beard!” as he wiped his gleaming forehead and dabbed his face. “That was quite a challenging one, but you got it in the end. Well done.”

Severus scarcely heard Professor Tofty. He couldn’t seem to stop quivering, and all he could think of was that his bladder felt very suddenly full and he wanted very badly to go take a leak.

“If you’re feeling up to it,” Professor Tofty began, “I heard you are capable of producing a Patronus? For a bonus point…”

“Huh? Oh…uh, give me a moment to clear my head?” Severus replied. Tofty nodded his head, and Severus closed his eyes and concentrated on slowing his breathing and stopping his quivering. When he’d calmed himself down some, and pushed thoughts of his full bladder out of his mind, he set to thinking of good memory. Kissing Lily, he thought, and raised his wand. “Expecto Patronum!” The sliver bear burst out of his wand and ran a short distance before dissipating.

“Bravo! Bravo!” Professor Tofty exclaimed. “I can’t help but notice it is the same as Miss Evans’-”

“That’s because I’m in love with her. She’s my girlfriend,” Severus said, smartly.

“Ah, I see you know your stuff, Mr. Sna-”

“Of course! I study very hard, Professor Tofty,” Severus replied, before Tofty could finish his sentence.

“Yes, yes, I can see that, Mr. Snape,” Tofty replied, chuckling a bit at the eager young man. “Well, done! Run along now!” He smiled and made a shooing motion.

Severus nodded and thanked the Professor for his time, and then walked swiftly out of the Great Hall. Thoughts of his full bladder had come screaming back into his mind, and it took every ounce of his being to resist doing a bit of the pee-pee dance, on the way out.

Once outside the Great Hall, Severus walked very swiftly to the nearest boys’ lavatory. Please don’t let me run into the bloody Marauders, now! Or Mulciber or any of the gang! he thought. Severus passed by several students milling around, but none from those two groups. When Severus reached the lavatory, he pushed open the bathroom doors and went to the nearest stall, since he hated using urinals. He felt too exposed at urinals, and it opened up an opportunity for anyone near him who had the indecency to look, to mock his dick. He also hated using the public showers, for the same reasons. Even erect, he was a bit smaller than average, from what he’d read, and he was definitely smaller than average flaccid, from what he read and from what he saw in the showers, and he felt very self conscious about it. Potter and Black had already made fun of him for it numerous times, and he was pretty sure they had already spread it around. Lily had never said anything about it, but he figured either she was too nice to say anything or she mercifully hadn’t heard.

As Severus relieved himself and thought about how much he hated urinals, a particular worry entered his mind. What if she hates it?! What if she laughs?! What if that’s why she was laughing when she felt it against her stomach, back in the tree house?! Severus let out a groan. It echoed through the bathroom and Severus hoped no one else was in any of the other stalls.

Well, if she felt it and thought it was laughable, it obviously wasn’t a deal breaker, Severus thought, with a small sigh as he put his dick away and did up his trousers. And then worry tugged at his mind, once more. But she might still hate it flaccid and she might hate it erect, too, when she actually gets a good feel or a good look! He stood there for a moment, staring at the back of the wall and fretting. Maybe she won’t care? But all the blokes I know say girls care about that. Even his Housemates had given him ribbings for his size. But they’re all dickheads, really. But almost all those porn blokes are huge…But then again, most of the porn girls have huge tits, and I know lots of blokes who don’t give a toss about tit size and just like tits. I just like Lily’s tits…Severus thought and then shook his head. Don’t think about that now! You have to meet Lily in the library, stupid! Severus flushed and made his way to the sinks, where he washed his hands with the coldest water possible.

I guess when the time comes, I’ll just have to hope for the best, he thought, sullenly. He wasn’t about to try casting any engorging spells on his dick and he hadn’t heard of any potions that could increase dick size, even temporarily. Severus had once hoped he would grow more, but that hope had dwindled this year when he seemed to stop growing all together. He hadn’t grown any taller since the beginning of this year, neither his dick nor his bollocks had gotten any bigger since last summer, and he hadn’t gotten any more body hair. He still just had peach fuzz most places, except for his armpits and a patch of pubic hair above his dick. He was pretty sure he’d never be able to grow even a mustache, let alone a great beard. And a lot of those porn blokes were furry, so he was worried Lily would care about that, too. But she already knew of his lack of fur from their trips to the public pool back in Cokeworth, so it obviously wasn’t a deal breaker for her. Unless she hopes I sprouted some more, Severus thought, groaning again and leaning forward until his forehead touched the mirror, making a greasy spot.

Severus wanted to have Lily do all sorts of stuff to him, but now that his fantasies were finally heading towards becoming reality and he stopped to think about her seeing and feeling his body, which didn’t seem like it was going to develop any more, he was deeply worried that she wouldn’t find him man enough in several departments. I am not a macho, macho man, Severus thought miserably.

Although…, he thought, seeing a slight glimmer of hope, she likes that David Bowie bloke, who looks like a girl a lot of the time…Except…except that he has an obviously big package when he wears tight trousers. Severus frowned, deeply. And a lot of her other favorite rock stars like to show off their bloody chest hair, like that tosser in ABBA and that other tosser in Queen. And then there’s that fucker Bert Reynolds and all those other motherfuckers in cinema and on the bloody telly with their fucking chest hair out. “Ugh!” Severus uttered, hating those guys and every other guy who had more chest hair or a bigger dick than he did.

At that moment, Severus heard the bathroom door open, and jerked into an upright position. He turned quickly around and saw that it was Hamish Underwood. He deemed Hamish to be ‘not a threat’, and relaxed. And then Severus thought about how Hamish was a pure-blood, and rich, and had loads of connections, and got in the Slug Club during First Year, and was a star player on the Hufflepuff Quidditch team, and he had more chest hair and a bigger dick. Fuck ‘em! Severus thought, and narrowed his eyes at Hamish.

Hamish raised his eyebrows at Severus’s hateful look, wondering what he could have done to anger him, and slunk into a nearby stall. Creepy bloke, Hamish thought. Why does Evans hang round him?

Severus huffed out his nose, and then walked past the stall and out of the restroom. He scanned the area for threats, and then made his way warily to the library to meet Lily.

7

When Severus entered the library, he relaxed once more. As long as Madam Pince was there, he felt safe in the library. Madam Pince was very alert and would levy swift detentions upon anyone using offensive spells in the library amongst her precious books. She was a bit of a pain, but useful in this regard.

Severus looked around, saw Potter and his mates at a table and gave it a look of disgust, and then spotted Lily at the far end, next to the Restricted Section. He turned his focus to her, and as he walked closer, he angled to look at what she was reading. She was flipping through a Potions book. A smile tugged at the corner of his lips. “Which one is it?” he asked, startling her.

“Sev!” She whispered, twisting around to look at him. “I was beginning to worry!”

“I’m fine,” Severus said, sitting down next to her at the desk.

“What took you so long?” Lily asked.

“Had to use the lav,” Severus replied, with a shrug.

“Oh…for that long? Are you all right?”

“Just had to take a leak, is all.”

“Pretty long time for a leak... Bladder infection?”

“No.” Severus gave her a mildly perturbed look.

“Wank?” Lily whispered, barely containing a cheeky grin.

Severus gave her a look and then a dismissive smirk. “No. I just got lost in thought…worrying about the future.”

“Oh. Don’t worry about that, Sev. I’m sure everything will be fine. We’ll get through it, together,” Lily said, placing her hand on his and giving it a comforting squeeze.

Severus gave her an unsure look.

“How did the exam go?” Lily asked, now sandwiching his hand between both of hers, causing him to blush slightly. Lily smiled. She found she liked making Severus blush like this. She thought it was terribly cute.

“Um, well, the dueling part went great. I got a bonus point for doing it all non-verbal…”

“That’s great!” Lily whispered.

“But the boggart was a nightmare. No fucking pun intended. I had to hit it with the Boggart-banishing Charm twice.”

“So the bunny ears didn’t quite do it, huh?”

“Not entirely. It was worse than just me as a Death Eater-”

“What could be worse than that?!” Lily exclaimed, in a hushed voice.

“Me, as a Death Eater, walking over a pile of dead, slashed-up bodies, you among them,” Severus replied with a most sour expression.

Lily’s expression likewise soured. “Yep, that’s bad.” Lily thought a moment. “That’s a stumper. How did you deal with it?”

“Made the bodies into mannequins. Boggart lost its balance and fell on its arse.”

“Heh!” Lily laughed, half-smiling, before being shushed by Madam Pince.

“It was awful. You were there, and your parents were there, and my parents (who I hate but I don’t want them dead) were there, and Professors Slughorn, and McGonagall and Dumbledore, were there…”

“So, it was like The Wizard of Oz, but horrible?”

Severus snorted. “That movie. That movie is so fucking offensive, Lily. Between the bloody Wicked Witch of the West being melted by a fucking bucket of water, and her sister’s fucking feet curling up when the fucking house was dropped on her, and the good witch who was dressed like Queen Bubblegum and talked like she was high, and the so-called Wizard of Oz who somehow managed to fool all these magic users into thinking he was real…Feh!”

“All right, but it’s not like the Muggles who made that movie knew that wizards and witches were real, right? Those were just fantasy wizards and witches-”

“Neighborhood kids have thrown water on both me and my mum because of that fucking movie, and they’ve called her ‘The Wicked Witch’ and me ‘The Wicked Witch Boy’!” Severus hissed.

“Oh! Well, that’s awful…” Lily said, withdrawing one hand and biting a finger nail. “Hm, come to think of it…kids at school used to call me ‘Glinda’ in a mocking fashion…”

“See!” Severus hissed again.

“They didn’t know we’re real wizards and witches, though.”

“But they know we’re different, and they think my mum looks like a witch because she always dresses in black and has black hair and looks ‘witchy’ to them, and they think I look ‘witchy’ too, ‘cause I look a lot like her, and you- I guess they think you look like a witch, too, because of that Glinda, with her red hair…fucking movie! Fucking Muggles!” Severus seethed.

“All right, all right, but not all Muggles are like that! My parents aren’t like that! You know that. Some Muggles are just tossers like some wizards and witches are just tossers,” Lily said, and then paused a moment. “Although, I’m glad you aren’t dismissing that stuff because ‘they’re just Muggles’ or something. People are people and it sucks when they’re hurtful, Muggle or magical,” Lily said, nodding.

Severus raised his eyebrows and stared at her a moment. He hadn’t really meant to care that much, but he obviously did. He frowned in thought, as he thought back to Lily’s earlier arguments that had convinced him to stop using “Muggle” as an epithet, back when they were kids, before Hogwarts. Severus had managed to stop himself from using it, until he got in with the pure-blood supremacists of Slytherin, and then it had been easy to slip right back. He’d soon started using it in a derogatory manner when he was in the Slytherin common room, and then later out in the halls, if he didn’t think anyone but his friends, other than Lily, were in earshot. He agreed with Lily that being Muggle didn’t seem to matter in terms of being good, since Mr. and Mrs. Evans were good and he liked them. And Muggles could certainly be clever and had all sorts of cunning technology. But they still didn’t have magic.

“What about magic?” Severus asked.

“What about it?” Lily felt her jaw tighten and her hand clench a little tighter on Severus’s. She thought Severus didn’t really believe all that stuff about Muggles being inferior any more than he really believed all that stuff about Muggle-borns being inferior.

“If Muggles and wizards are equal, then how are they, since wizards have magic and Muggles can never have it?” Severus asked. He could see Lily’s face tighten, further, and hastily added, “I’m not saying they aren’t, but how?”

Lily let out a breath of air and her expression softened just a little. “Is magic the most important quality in a person?”

Severus blinked and thought a moment. “I don’t know…would you like me if I wasn’t a wizard?”

“Of course I would! I wouldn’t stop loving you if you didn’t have magic!” Lily said in a hushed voice. “Would you stop loving me if I didn’t have magic?!”

“No, of course not. But I mean, what if I didn’t have magic to start?”

“I love my sister and my parents and they never had magic. We could have still made friends and such,” Lily replied.

Severus looked unconvinced.

Lily sighed and said, “All right, think about it like this… Who would you rather spend time with: my parents, who are Muggle and treat you like family, or your mum, who is magical and who doesn’t take good care of you?” Lily bit her lip and immediately regretted stating that last part so plainly.

“Well, your parents, but my parents are both horrible,” Severus replied, unperturbed at the criticism of his mother.

Lily took a breath of relief and carried on. “Well, then, goodness wins out, doesn’t it? Obviously it’s goodness, or you’d rather spend time with your mum who is magical.”

Severus felt an immediate sense of shame wash over him, as he had many times before, for choosing Lily’s Muggle parents over his magical mother. He’d practically lived at the Evans’ house since before Hogwarts, since he and Lily became best friends. And he had been choosing Muggles over magic every summer, since he couldn’t practice magic at the Evans’ house because of the Trace. He could get away with practicing magic at or nearer to his house, because it would be assumed to be his mother’s magic, but not at the Evans’ house.

A confused expression passed over Lily’s face as she watched Severus’s expression grow odd. She couldn’t place her finger on it, other than he looked unsettled.

“I have been choosing goodness over magic, during the summer,” Severus said, looking stricken.

“Well, see! Goodness is more important than magic and both Muggles and magical people can be good or bad so they are equal. Neither one more superior than the other, right?” Lily said, a hopeful look on her face.

“So our magic is worthless,” Severus said, looking even more unsettled.

“I didn’t say that!” Lily whispered. “Magic just isn’t everything. It just doesn’t make us any better than Muggles, that’s all. I don’t see why that’s so earth shattering.”

“Magic is supposed to be better! Our entire lives are built around it!” Severus exclaimed in a hushed voice, removing his hand from Lily’s and gesturing with both hands.

“Just like Muggle’s lives are built around their technology. So what?”

“So, without magic, the wizarding world isn’t really any better than the Muggle world! Most people are horrible, there’s corruption everywhere - it’s a big cauldron of bubbling shit! And they don’t know what they’re missing,” Severus said, before realizing the extremely pro-Muggle implications and reflexively clamping a hand over his mouth.

Lily grinned and her eyes glittered. “Like we know what we’re missing, right, Sev? Like the cinema, and the telly, and all the wide varieties of music and fiction by Muggles. Like pinball machines and all the toys Muggles have that wizards don’t. Like the security of knowing that we don’t need wands to survive. Like loved ones we have to leave behind. We were raised in the Muggle world, we know there’s a trade-off.”

Like the approval of my father and your sister, Severus thought briefly, before stamping it down with a quick, Fuck them!

“And most wizards don’t know that, anymore than Muggles know what they’re missing, do they?” Lily continued.

“Didn’t think there would be much to miss, till I saw what it was like at your house,” Severus said, quietly, almost mumbling.

Lily gave him a sympathetic look and took both his hands in hers. “Mum and dad would be glad to hear that. You’re like part of the family. I’ve overhead them talking about how they hate to send you home at the end of the evening, ‘cause they know it’s bad for you, over there. But they figure they can’t get away with keeping you overnight, without your mum’s permission, which she doesn’t give.”

“Really?” Severus asked, incredulous. Mrs. Evans always doted on him, but even so, he thought she might just be nice like that. And Mr. Evans was friendly enough but often criticized Severus’s long hair and his skinny frame, so he wasn’t sure how much Mr. Evans really liked him, either.

“Yes, they both love you!” Lily replied.

“Your mum’s not just being nice?”

“No, she really likes you!”

“What about your dad? All that stuff he says about my hair and needing to bulk up?”

“Oh, he likes you! He’s just tragically unhip about the hair and old fashioned about thinking blokes should have more muscle and weight,” Lily replied. “Not that you couldn’t stand to gain some weight. And definitely not that you should lose any more! I’ve been worried that you’ve been letting yourself waist away, this year, myself. And you know my mum – she’s a feeder! She’ll definitely be on you to eat, this summer.” Lily thought a moment then added, “And it’s not like dad doesn’t complain about my taste in music and fashion, and that doesn’t mean he loves me any less. He’s just not with it. He’s not happening. He’s kind of a square. But he loves us.”

“How sure are you?”

“I’d stake my life on it,” Lily replied, smiling.

Severus gave her a small crooked smile, before his expression soured again. “Lily, you know most wizards and witches think magical folk are superior to Muggles, even the ones who are against pure-blood supremacy.”

“So? They are ignorant and/or wrongheaded,” Lily replied, smartly.

Severus sighed. “So, being pro-Muggle to the point of saying we’re equal to them, is dangerous. Not a lot of people are going to be willing to defend that position.”

“I know that,” Lily said, smoothly. “It’s not for the faint of heart. But we aren’t faint of heart, are we?”

“No, but we’re not suicidal, either, are we?” Severus replied, giving her a look.

“Sev, the Death Eaters and their supporters want everyone of my birth dead, anyway. And they’ll be after you for being a blood traitor and choosing a Muggle-born over them. So…might as well be hanged for a dragon as for an egg, right?”

Severus’s face twisted into a half-smile and then he huffed. “Wouldn’t it be better to play it smart and stay neutral and not take either side?”

“No! Fuck no!” Lily whispered. “That’s what a lot of people did (or tried to do) during WWII and all it did was allow things to get totally out of hand. Someone’s gotta fight the good fight, Sev, and it might as well be us. And staying neutral isn’t an option for me or any Muggle-born, really.”

“Unless they fake their family history and forge a Ministry issued family tree and birth certificate. And do it before they let the wrong people know they are Muggle-born. And the wrong people already know about you, so, yeah, I guess you’re buggered.” Severus nodded.

“I guess it’s not too late for you, if you don’t mind being subjugated,” Lily said, peevishly. “And they do plan to subjugate half-bloods, and some of the wrong people already know about you, too. And already you are subjugated by having to pass to be accepted, and by only being worth an exception to those who already know your blood status. You’ve had to deny a part of your heritage and hide a part of who you are, for those people. And there’s always the threat of being exposed, and anyone who knows about your heritage could blackmail you.”

Severus shuddered. He’d been worried about physical retribution and losing favor with the pure-blood elite, but he hadn’t thought of the fact that Mulciber and Avery might out him or blackmail him.

“Are they blackmailing you?” Lily asked, leaning forward, her eyes wide.

“No.” Severus sighed. “I mean…not yet. I mean…maybe.” Now that he thought about it, there had been times when he’d gotten the feeling that if he pushed things too hard in defense of Lily or dug his heels in too hard about not going along with something, they might get fed up enough to out him. There was no doubt they’d get fed up enough to label him a blood traitor.

“Ugh, I hate them so much, Sev!” Lily hissed, as she unconsciously dug her nails into his hands. “Seriously, what did you ever see in them?!”

“Well, Mulciber can be very charming, when he wants to be,” Severus replied.

Lily gave him a look like he’d just blown a bogey on her skirt.

“And he’s really powerful. His family’s politically connected with the Ministry and with the Death Eaters and he can do really powerful Dark Magic.”

Lily shivered and looked like she was going to vomit. “That is not a good kind of powerful, Sev,” she managed to grit out.

“Yeah, I know,” Severus said, looking tired and sheepish. Then a crease formed in between his eyebrows and he added, “Speaking of Mulciber…I should warn you, he can do the Imperius Curse. Don’t look him in the eyes, and if he manages to cast it on you, then when you get that unnatural calm feeling, like everything’s right in the world, resist. And you’ll have to be more careful, in general, once I lose favor, since I won’t be able to stop them from coming after you.”

“You weren’t able to stop them, anyway,” Lily replied. “They went after me, today, at the lake, after all.”

Severus said nothing, but didn’t look like he disagreed.

Lily was beginning to feel very depressed, thinking about all the horrible things that Severus must have gotten up to with that horrible Mulciber and his other Death Eater wannabe friends. She closed her eyes and began rubbing her temple and thinking to herself, It’s all the past. Everything’s going to be all right now. Sev has stepped away from the ledge and come back to me and it’s all going to be fine. No more Dark Magic. No more pure-blood supremacy. Going to be fine.

“So, how did your practical go?” Severus asked, hoping to change the subject and cheer her up.

Lily stopped rubbing and brightened a little. “Very well, I think. I didn’t do it all non-verbal, like some people, though,” Lily said, smiling and prodding Severus playfully in the chest, “But I didn’t miss anything and I got my boggart banished on the first try.”

“I knew you’d do great,” Severus replied, warmly.

“Oh, and I got a bonus point for casting my Patronus! Did you get Professor Tofty? Did he ask you to cast yours for a bonus point?”

“Yes. I got it.” Severus replied, grinning proudly.

“Speaking of that…You fucking liar!” Lily said in a low voice, playfully shoving him. “Your Patronus is not the same as mine because we’re best friends, it’s because you’re in love with me! You berk!” She playfully hit him on the shoulder. “You idiot!” She playfully hit him again. “You should have told me then!” She playfully punched him three more times.

Severus couldn’t resist a chuckle. “You looked disappointed! Like you didn’t like the idea of my Patronus being the same as yours!” Severus replied.

“Well, I was disappointed because you looked horrified! Why did you look horrified?”

“I thought you’d think it was creepy and never want to speak to me again!”

“You’re a dunderhead!” Lily said a little too loudly, earning another shushing from Madam Pince.

When Madam Pince had walked away, Severus gave Lily a playful shove of his own, earning a wide smile. All the sudden Lily felt elated again. Yes, we’re back to the way we should be! Even better, now I can kiss him, if I want, Lily thought. She quickly leaned forward, wrapped her arms around him, and planted a firm kiss on his lips. When she pulled back he was looking at her with a confused expression.

“You’re all over the place today,” he said.

“It’s been an all over the place day,” Lily replied, with a crooked smile.

Severus gave her a friendly smirk, and thought about trying to kiss her in return. He looked around and saw that Madam Pince was nowhere in sight, but before he could make his move, Lily stood up.

“I think I’ll go get a Charms book to read for fun, while we’re here,” said Lily. She held Preventative Potions for Every Need in her hands, ready to take it back.

“Uh, wait!” Severus said. Lily paused and waited. He couldn’t think of a good way to make his move, now that she was standing, so Severus said, “I want to look at that one.” He pointed to the Potions book in her hands.

“Oh, sure, Sev!” Lily handed it over.

Severus took it and kicked himself a little bit as she walked away. She’d have probably let me kiss her. Severus sighed, looked at the title of the book, and shrugged. He flipped the book open, but his mind was still elsewhere. Oh, well, there will be other opportunities. Severus started to fantasize, then shook his head. But don’t think about it now! Stop getting hard, cock! Stop it right now! Severus tried to think of something gross. Dad’s vomit pale. That time I was eight, when I had to eat cheap canned dog food for a week because he’d spent so much of the grocery money on booze and mum tried to teach him a lesson. That did it. Severus scowled for a moment, and then started reading the book.

Lily came back shortly with a Charms book, and sat back down next to Severus. He lifted his head from his reading and gave her a little half-smile. She smiled back, and then they both turned to their books and sat contently reading together.

~To Be Continued

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Next in Chapt. 3 – Lily and Severus engage in some experimentation; and more …

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